On 12/21/10, I wrote this (edited) post to my blog. For a long time after Charlotte's death I needed to connect with other mothers who lost a child and felt empassioned to make all people understand what that loss is like. I was truthful. Almost too truthful. I started to regret letting all those feelings and information out into public domain. I ended up removing my entire blog. And now I'm back to thinking Charlotte's story could help others. With less raw emotion. So here we go...
After finding out that Charlotte had no heartbeat, the perinatologist did his scan quickly, took measurements, and confirmed there was no heartbeat. He told me there was fluid around her heart and liver, and that she only measured 30 weeks (his guess was 3 pounds 15 ounces, which was pretty close to her actual weight of 4 pounds 1 ounce.)
Some time later, two ladies came to take my blood for the tests that could determine why Charlotte had passed away. They took a lot, I'm not even sure how many vials they took but the next morning someone else came and took some more. The perinatologist also wanted to get some amniotic fluid to test. The nurses and doctor seemed confused and didn't know how to get a sample of the fluid. They said that to me over and over again. They never did get it. (My online research tells me this could have been helpful with the determination in her death.)
Charlotte was born at 3:54 PM on November 13, 2010, weighing 4 pounds, 1 ounce, and 17 inches long.